Baby Born Pregnant Morning After Alabama Performs First Gay Marriage

A baby was born pregnant and once again gay marriage is to blame.  Ask any reputable scientist and they will tell you that correlation implies causation.  By that empirical logic we can see that only hours after the Supreme Court forced Alabama to perform gay marriage, babies are now being born pregnant. The harrowing backstory ..

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God Infects Tom Brady With Cold Virus Days Before Super Bowl

God Infects Tom Brady With Cold Virus Days Before Super Bowl

  Boston  – New reports from the New England Patriots reveal that quarterback Tom Brady is suffering from a ‘devastating’ respiratory virus. News of Brady’s illness became apparent during an interview.  Brady was visibly ill, coughing and hacking in between words he struggled to get out in one breath. “[This cold], it’s been lingering,” Brady ..

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Obama Bans Cadbury Chocolates to Ruin Easter and Destroy Jesus

Obama Bans Cadbury Chocolates to Ruin Easter and Destroy Jesus

Obama holds America’s last piece of Cadbury Easter chocolate in his liberal hands. Obama’s firm monopoly on ruining Christian holidays has become that much stronger today.  The Christian nation of Ireland, who blesses the world with delicious Cadbury chocolate to help celebrate Easter every year, has announced that America’s ‘Hershey Brown’ president has made a ..

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Obama Using Global Warming to Kill White Polar Bears Extinct

Obama Using Global Warming to Kill White Polar Bears Extinct

Scientists warn that the majestic Arctic polar bear is in danger of becoming extinct.  As we speak, the icy white land on which these beautifully white creatures live in peace and harmony with their all white families is melting beneath their very paws. Indeed, my friends, Barack Obama is encouraging global warming so this white ..

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LRA Leader Joseph Kony Captured By US Special Forces, Uganda Army Confirms

LRA Leader Joseph Kony Captured By US Special Forces, Uganda Army Confirms

Sources in Africa are reporting that infamous military leader Joseph Kony has been captured by US special forces. The Lord’s Resistance Army top commander surrendered several hours ago and is allegedly in custody of US special forces.  Kony is being held for alleged crimes against humanity and war crimes. Sources in the United States confirm ..

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Obama Declares War on Christmas, Uses NORAD To Shoot Down Santa

Obama Declares War on Christmas, Uses NORAD To Shoot Down Santa

  Parents, please tell your children that Santa will not be delivering any Christmas presents this year.  Barack Obama has used NORAD to track down Santa and hunt him down with surface-to-air missiles. Obama is trying to marginalize Christmas and what better way to destroy Christmas than destroying Jesus and Santa.  Mark my words, Obama ..

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Damned Obama Refuses To Let Economy Crash So We Can Blame It On Him

Damned Obama Refuses To Let Economy Crash So We Can Blame It On Him

  Barack Obama is using his Kenyan magic to manipulate the stock markets!  The Dow is at a year-high 18,000 and the GDP is better than it was in the days of President Bush! This is not natural, my friends.  Obama is using voodoo economics to manipulate the natural invisible hand of capitalism!  Obama’s voodoo ..

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Is Obama To Blame For Shooting Death of New York City Police Officers? Yes

Two New York police officers have been assassinated in cold blood and now the world is asking, “Is Obama to blame?” The trouble between minorities and police all started only months ago, when a violent man named Michael Brown roughed up an innocent police officer.  Brown tried to yank Officer Darrin Wilson from a car ..

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