Gay Scientists Invent New Ladybird Spider Species to Bite Men with Radioactive Homosexuality
Eresus hermani, the newly created species of Ladybird Spider, is being used as part of a gay agenda. Scientists are conspiring with world leaders such as Obama to dramatically increase the world’s gay male population all while simultaneously decreasing human birth and nuclear family rate. Exhibit A is the female Ladybird Spider, which is a far more aggressive, defensive and masculine than the male Ladybird spider (Exhibit B). Exhibit A is meant to defend the male spider (which can transmit genetically engineered homosexuality via bite) from wasps and other predators.
Gay scientists have created a new spider and plan to use its pedipalps to infect men with somatic cells coded with radioactive homosexuality. Details of the new spider species — the ladybird-spider — surfaced online today and the World Health Organization estimates the country of Hungary has already reached a critical mass population event for these spiders. Reports of men being bitten, leaving their family and romping each other in the street are throwing the nation and local media into panicked frenzy.
While research is underway into details of the life cycle and bauplan of the new spiders, the new species’ delivery mechanism to transmit genetically engineered homosexuality via bite is already well known to the scientific community.
The male ladybird spider has been genetically modified to key in on a human’s unique body signature and male pheromones. Gay men tend to have a higher body temperature than straight males, and their pheromones are also more exotic.
The spider can sense the dull, cooler bodies of straight men and will target them for a bit and slight feeding, which delivers a payload of one somatic cell that’s been irradiated with DNA laced with homosexual codons.
Once the gay cell is activated within the hosts body, it immediately displays classic personality traits of homosexuality: bold, highly social and promiscuous. It does not take the cell very long to spread throughout the body and eventually into neural tissue, causing the male to become confused and fight off urges to seek gushing doses of foreign testosterone.