After years of being pegged by Miss Piggy’s authoritative brand of feminist lesbianism, a confused and broken Kermit finds himself only attracted to homosexuality. This scene of the new Muppets shows Kermit’s future hidden in shame as he sits before an smartphone to watch two Hyla regilla engage in lurid same-gender acts.
On the surface homosexuality seems to be a fun, productive, and rewarding lifestyle. Married gay men are oft seen cruising through town in sleek luxury vehicles, their dashing white smiles and well-coiffed hair complimenting their tanned bodies earned from dashing off to exotic locations on the weekends to party with their wealthy fraternity buddies.
According to Entertainment Weekly: “The Muppets return to prime time with a contemporary, documentary-style show that—for the first time ever—will explore the Muppets’ personal lives and relationships, both at home and at work, as well as romances, break-ups, achievements, disappointments, wants and desires; a more adult Muppet show, for [people] of all ages.”
If you read through the lines, it is easy to see the worst of Mitt Romney’s fears all confirmed. During the 2012 presidential elections, Romney famously went to war against PBS and all muppet-based entertainment. Romney knew that in the hands of the liberals, muppets would only be used to further the liberal agenda and brainwash the next generation of Americans.
While homosexuality is just too tempting a topic to bring up in this new-age soap-opera documentary, considering the alpha-beta gender reversal ubiquitous to Miss Piggy’s and Kermit’s relationship, we will likely see other themes played out.
Fozzy the Bear as a Bill Cosby type comedian who can get away with saying and doing anything? Gonzo, the liberal journalist who waxes poetic against the Christians and the nation’s hardworking wealthy? Beaker, the liberal scientist designed to strip kids of their Christian heritage and make them soulless, all a means to destroy Jesus and create a new age of liberal darkness?
This new prime-time moppets show is perhaps the newest great threat to freedom of religion and freethought in America. Our youth will be brainwashed because their minds are innocent, our older generations will be drawn in by nostalgia and grow sympathetic to whatever liberal cause is presented because their childhood heroes are going through these liberal life situations.
And while all this takes place, two old men will sit back, watch and chuckle as their nefarious agenda takes hold over America.