Have The Gays Grown Too Powerful For God To Fight?

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Has gay marriage grown far too powerful for Christians to fight?

 

As America finally starts to thaw out and emerge from the most brutal winter in recorded history, the onus of responsibility falls upon today’s modern Christian to ask an important question:  have the gays grown too strong to fight?

This past winter as we prayed for God to punish Obama and those who tried to legalize gay marriage, many good Christians were caught in the crossfire of battle.  As gays continued to be festive and openly celebrate their love in record numbers, Christians were forced to suffer in the war of attrition.

Gays would force God’s hand and He would pummel towns and romantic Nantucket resorts with the worst of snow storms, but the gays would just laugh at his efforts and have another excuse to accessorize their fitted wool tweed coats and slacks with faux-fur coats and mink hats.  The colder God would make it, the more illegally married gays would use their double-male corporate incomes to buy SUV with heated Corinthian leather seats and four-wheel, all weather drive.

You see, my friends, the modern gay man is very powerful, connected and lively.  If you spend any time in a gay bar, you will see a defiant vigor for life and pleasure dancing in their eyes.  They have fabulous jobs, are usually well educated and can now marry equally powerful and lively mates.  Gay male marriage is advantageous to heterosexual marriage because income disparity.  A typical two-male household will bring in over $150,000 – $250,000 a year on average, where as the normal male-female household’s income is only $56,000 a year and burdened by having to raise an average of three kids.

Even aside from their high-end education and wealth, the modern gay couple is too well camouflaged and incorporated into suburban neighborhoods.  We all have that house of ‘gay neighbors’ now and when we pray for God to ‘Get ’em!  Sick ’em!’ with our prayers, based on the Bible’s teaching of what horrible punishments await those who sin of the flesh, his wrath just cannot get pinpointed enough to make a ‘big public statement’ to the gays, without making decent upstanding Christians also suffer.

As celebrities like Obama and Ellen continue to make being gay more popular and chic, it is time for us moral people in America to reassess our strategy.  We will just have to ‘agree to disagree’ for now and go back to the drawing board, because the gay movement’s motility grows more powerful and the more we try to squeeze and fight it, the more likely it will just explode all over society and consume all near it.

I’m not saying modern Christians have to accept gay marriage, but I’m just saying we maybe should learn to just “Agree to disagree” so we don’t have a brutal summer.

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