God Unleashes Ice Volcano To Scare Americans Who Voted for Gay Marriage, Obama

Behold, the power of God!

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For it is written!

Romans 1:27  – And the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.

Dear friends, it surely has been steamy and passionate for gay marriage week in America.  Only 6 days ago, for the first time in American history the highest number of married male couples shared romantic candlit dinner where they bashed their joyful, teary eyes and looked at their lovely rings on their fingers, sharing in marital bliss!

Oh, woe, for of course those sorts of romantic dinners lead to steam and passion in the bedroom.  But we can see God is putting the ice freeze on all those heated romances by creating a giant ice volcano.

Romans 1:27 makes it quite clear that when we reach a threshold per capita male marriage amount, we shall see penalties rained down upon us!

Whenever in the history of humanity has a volcano taken the form of ice?  Just ask yourself that, my dear readers and good friends.

The scripture makes if clear that when a man abandons a woman to lie with only a man, due penalties will result.  If only these same-sex married male couples could invite a woman into the bedroom, perhaps they could find a loophole and then this wrath would not be so severe for us all.

What I’m saying here today is that in this liberal world, we have to accept that gay marriage is going to happen.  It has reached a critical threshold and there is just no way to turn the tide.  But we can see the penalties remain.  So if men are going to be allowed to marry men, we have to make a simple addition to a gay marriage license:

Modified Marriage Contract

Male #1: _____________ Female:_______________ Male #2:__________________

Before those that stand in witness today, I _______, ________, and ________ confess that man cannot have a marriage with a woman. Therefore, we three enter this moral contract with respect that from a woman comes the gift of life, as so forth mandated on day in the Garden of Eden.

If either Male #1 or Male # 2 defined in this contract should forsake the woman and attempt to give her up for one another, then both Male #1 and Male #1 shall be punished with divorce and forfeiting 75% of all his possessions to the Female who shall be liberated from all binds imbued upon signature of this contract of Holy Matrimony.

The fair Shared Wife contract above allows two men to share in a marriage, on the condition that they respect marriage cannot be held without a woman. If we submit this application from the Lord, perhaps his great anger can be stopped before he unleashed more than ice volcanoes on humanity.

Woe unto us if we fail to take heed to these weather warnings.

What do you think?

Written by Abe Goodman

Champion of American values and spreading morality to the unsaved world. And if you don't like that, you can just get out of my country smart-alack.


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