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God Continues to Body Slam New England with Blizzard Cold, Gays and Tom Brady Still To Blame

It’s a cold day in New England!  Today I have received many heated letters trying to claim that the worst blizzard of modern history is not the fault of gays and Tom Brady not repenting.

BEHOLD, GOD’S WRATH!

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Well, let’s look at science and facts.  Any self-respecting scientist knows that correlation implies causation.  That means you can say since it is so freezing cold outside right now, it was caused by something!  And the fact is that something, the X variable, just so happens to be per capita gay marriage and Tom Brady.

Now, if you look at the Weather Map to the right, you can clearly see temperatures that a human cannot even survive in without clothing.  This by itself should be a warning that something special, something divine and out of the normal, is going on here.

This map is just a sub-section of the big picture, which our Christian Broadcasting Center news coverage predicted over the weekened.  Census data indicated that the per capita gay marriage percentage reached a critical high.  Then when you couple that with big ticket news items like Tom Brady cheating to humiliate bona-fide Christian Russell Wilson in the Super Bowl, then a Valentine’s Day that contained the hightest number of gay married couples celebrating in human history, you get this sort of weather in the sinning region.

cal warren

What do you think?

Written by Abe Goodman

Champion of American values and spreading morality to the unsaved world. And if you don't like that, you can just get out of my country smart-alack.

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