Obama Bans Cadbury Chocolates to Ruin Easter and Destroy Jesus

obama cadbury

Obama holds America’s last piece of Cadbury Easter chocolate in his liberal hands.

Obama’s firm monopoly on ruining Christian holidays has become that much stronger today.  The Christian nation of Ireland, who blesses the world with delicious Cadbury chocolate to help celebrate Easter every year, has announced that America’s ‘Hershey Brown’ president has made a devil of a deal, banning any imports of Cadbury chocolate from Europe.

This Easter season Americans will be confused to not see the Cadbury bunny or lion making funny on tv, signifying that Easter is near.  Children worldwide will go on Easter egg hunts, to only find that their plastic eggs are filled with cheap, waxy Hershey’s chocolate.

Our children will forever associate that poor man’s chocolate as associated with the body of Christ, forever sullying their gut in the future when it’s time to take true communion.  This is all part of Obama’s agenda to make crucial Christian holidays turn sour in the bellies of our children.

Rest assured, my friends, that Obama wants Easter chocolate to taste nasty and is hiring TSA workers to work as the Easter bunny in your local malls.  Obama wants children terrified of Easter, so they will not recognize that Christ died for their sins so they can all go to Heaven.

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