Big Foot Is Latest Ebola Victim, Corpse of Legendary Creature To Be Quarantined 21 Days

ebola big foot

Hunters tracking mule deer on land between the Quebec and Maine border came across a shocking, grisly site.  Above we see the body of the legendary ‘Sasquatch’ monster, known throughout most of the world as ‘Big Foot’.  The great mammalian creature is seen weakened and sick, near death in the photograph taken during first November weekend of 2014.

The gaming party quickly called authorities, recognizing the creature was not approved prey sanctioned by the gaming commission of Canada or the US.

{adinserter 2}”The thing had a raspy, noisy breath.  Sort of a death rattle if you will.  We wanted to help it out maybe and see what the hell it was, if we was right that it was Bigfoot.  But there are laws and protocol to follow, so we called the game warden’s office and they sent out a team.”

At first wondering if the gaming party was having a put on, the warden’s office responded with only two officers.  But after seeing the beast was breathing from its mouth and showing signs of respiratory distress and a ‘fever so bad you could feel the heat from its body’, the gaming officials called in researchers recently dispatched to Maine from the CDC.

Within a few more hours the worst of fears was confirmed:  a primate-like creature resembling Bigfoot was laying on the ground, dying of Ebola.  Someway, somehow, the legendary creature had contracted one of the most deadly virus’ in human history.


Coroners ruling Bigfoot’s cause of death as Ebola. A mandatory quarantine to ‘monitor the decay’ of Bigfoot was put into place. Local media speculates officials from the CDC may be looking to see if Bigfoot’s corpse reanimates and comes back to life, as had been seen in Africa in human victims over one month ago.

Officials in Maine warn hunters that ‘the meat could be tainted’.  Initial analysis of the creature reveals it may be an omnivore, suggesting that it could have actively pursued and hunted down prey in the area.  “If it had chased down a buck, bit it..then that buck is likely carrying Ebola.  If a mountain lion scavenged a meal , same thing.  All parties infected.?

What do you think?

Written by Abe Goodman

Champion of American values and spreading morality to the unsaved world. And if you don't like that, you can just get out of my country smart-alack.


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