Christian America has defeated Obama’s latest plot to destroy Jesus and start a new age of Liberal Darkness.
Obama’s assault upon faith and freedom started in Western African, where Liberia has accused America of creating a power bioweapon entirely capable of destroying a population in only 28 days. Is it a coincidence that one of the most terrifying apocalyptic ‘zombie’ movies of our era is 28 days later? I think not!
Ebola victims must main in quarantine for 28 days. Obama did this on purpose, as a subtle warning of the horrors to come with the Ebola outbreak. Not only would victims suffer and die, no, Obama is far more dark and sinister than to have that eventuality be his end game.
Instead, Obama tied popular culture into his war against Christianity. Ebola kills a victim usually within 28 days, thus the maximum suggested quarantine period for Ebola. Right-wing media responsibly stirred the public into a scared frenzy, demanding the CDC do a better job of placing patients in quarantine.
Obama tried to spin our fearmongering and say there was nothing to worry about, though brave nurses were infected with Ebola and allowed to travel on public airlines. Obama wanted this disease to silently spread through America, so that he could ‘find the cure’ and reveal that only those who allowed their arms to be injected with the cure (which would contain the RDIF chip marker inscribed with 0-BAMA 666).
Despite all these lies and transgressions, Christian America stood proud and tough. We did not buckle to Obama even in the height of our darkest hour. Indeed, we bowed our heads at Obama’s favorite witching midnighthour yesterday and prayed until high noon today!
Behold the power of Christian prayer!
During a televised propaganda speech yesterday, Obama started to tell a crowd another bold-faced lie about how Ebola is not contagious and not meant to force all Christians to either die or receive the mark of the beast. Only minutes after he opened his mouth to tell his lies, we can see that he was struck with what looks like a holy transient ischemic attack.
Instead of feeling sorry for Obama, the crowd recognized that he is a veil wolf in sheep’s skin. Sources report the crowd boo’d Obama and exited the room, one mother covering her child’s eyes and ears as they ran out of a door.
“My family serves Christ!”, the mother exclaimed. Others in the crowd verbally supported the mother as God worked to make Obama get choked on his untrue words.
NO NEW EBOLA CASES IN FIVE DAYS
Yes, there have been no new cases of Ebola in five days. In the great state of Texas, 51 people were released from quarantine today. All this is happening because Christians prayed to make it so.
Liberal readers and even the delusional liberal columnists working for Big American News will try to refute these truths, but there is no arguing against the cold, hard facts.
Prayer cures Ebola. Fact.
This is the best satire site I’ve seen in a long while. Almost as good as “The Onion”.