Annabelle Goodman
Leaked image from the Royal archives shows the Queen a day after several Scots tricked her into smoking a bit of the deadly new Ebola marijuana. Luckily, the combined prayer forces of the clergy and a bath in Pope blessed Holy Water was able to cure the Queen.
Shocking news from England. Allegedly angry that they did not get their freedom, a traitorous group of Scots smuggled a spliff of Ebola marijuana into the Royal Court.
Its named derivative of ‘a bowl of marijuana’, Ebola marijuana is currently being manufactured in Mexico. Drug lords are buying boiling pots and filling them with Ebola stained sheets and items, marijuana leaves and then boiling the virus right to the point of denaturing, then dehydrating the mixture.
The high from this marijuana leaves the user ‘feverish and lightheaded, almost like taking a hit of Krokodil, Ecstasy and marijuana all at once,’ reports a source on the condition of anonymity.
The Scotsmen told the Queen that to signify their acceptance of England’s rule over them, they would burn a ceremonial Scottish incense. Always proper and respectful of lesser cultures, the Queen obliged their primitive ceremony. The Royal Guard was shocked when the Queen immediately started to cough and faint when she inhaled just a few bits of the smoke.
“Poison, poison!”, she mewed, as guards tackled the Scotsmen. There is no official word on if the guardsmen were also infected by the weakened strain of Ebola in the marijuana and scant details are available, as the Royal press is doing their best to sweep this all under the rug.
Clergy from all over England, from Archbishops to Country Pastors were called in to immediately pray. Virologists from the WHO quickly determined the kilted Scots had infected the queen with Ebola marijuana, a deadly combination.
The Pope blessed several vats of water, enough ‘to fill an Olympic sized swimming pool.’ It was after this water was shipped to England and clergy prayed as the Queen slipped into it, that they saw her near instantly healed and she is now back on the throne, healthy as ever.
