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Satan Appears In the Sun To Show Approval For How Horrible Earth Is Right Now

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devil in the sun

Obama is president, ISIS is spreading the values of Islam throughout the world, Ebola is killing Christians and forcing everyone to get the mark of the beast for a cure and now, NASA has captured what appears to be the happy, gloating face of Satan manifesting in a rarely seen ‘Jack-O’Lantern’ sun.

NASA released the rare image early Saturday morning.  Scientists detailed that when doing a multi-wavelength spectral analysis of the Sun, two interns ‘jumped back from their large HD monitor, terrified at the quick flash’ of light.

Remember, Satan’s Christian given name is “Lucifer Morningstar”.  When he makes an appearance, there is usually a bright flash of light that comes first.  Then, the big, dark and sinister fiery reveal.

You can clearly see Satan’s face laughing at the world.  He is just tickled pink that America is letting Obama tear apart the greatest Christian nation in the history of the universe.  Since Obama became president, America’s once proud AAA credit rating has fallen to a AA credit.  Folks who look like Obama probably think that’s a great credit rating, but people who look like our nation’s founding fathers would say that is abysmal.

{adinserter 2}It is sad that as gay marriage now spreads through the United States, to think that we are going to have to get use to Satan appearing more and more.  Do you remember when President Bush was our elected Christian leader?  Jesus and angels would appear all over the place, be it on toast or in a cloud in the sky, to bring us a ray of hope and joy during the day

But all that has stopped since Obama is in office.  Wake up people!  Satan is blatantly showing up in our sun, laughing as his cosmic energies saturate the Earth and spread all sorts of solar sin that will give our souls the worst sunburn that you can imagine.

Take one look at Obama and you can tell he’s burned just as much as you can get, but what about your soul?  Do you want it to be dark too or do you want it to be pure and white, walking in the porcelain halls of values, morality and conservatism?

This the the question you must ask yourself today, dear friends and good readers.  This is the question that you must answer with your heart and soul.

 

<3 Anna Mae

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4 Comments

  • avatar image
    Bryan Levi
    October 11, 2014 Reply

    This is fuckin bullshit! First off, Satan is a title not a name. Lucifer was a king in Tyre in the old testament so it's not a fuckin Christian name. Read your fuckin bible people! Hail Satan!

  • avatar image
    Lis
    October 12, 2014 Reply

    A bit egocentric. Apparently God and Christians outside of USA are irrelevant? Throughout India, Asia and parts of Africa Christianity is spreads like wild fire. I can't say that articles like this help the cause of Christians in America. Pray for Christians everywhere, regardless of political affiliations. After all, WWJD?

  • avatar image
    Dick Head
    October 13, 2014 Reply

    Kickass satire

  • avatar image
    Nells
    October 19, 2014 Reply

    Clearly it's a multi spectral image, pool old mankind always looking for patterns in life. My neighbour came round this morning with a slice of toast, she said look, look it's the face of Jesus I said I can't believe it's not Buddha.

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