Abe Goodman
Tragic news out of Oklahoma. A Christian pastor announced to his congregation, in an emergency meeting of the flock Friday night, that he has contracted Ebola from a gay marriage couple.
“As you know, the Supreme Court has ruled that gay marriage is legal in our state. Instead of following the law of God, I am guilty and followed the law of man,” a wear Reverend Bobby Higgins told his congregation.
“It was only two days ago, that I sneaked into our church and did the unthinkable. I announced them man and man, I told them they could kiss and blessed their marriage. As soon as one of them kissed the other, they both started to violently sneeze and then they sneezed on me.”
Reverend Higgins spoke to his congregation via live satellite, being under quarantine and watch due to his symptoms.
‘At first I did not think too much of it. But it was no more than twelve hours later when one of the men called me. He said that when they tried to consummate their marriage, they broke into heavy sweats and developed diarrhea symptoms. Their fevers both got so bad they went straight into an emergency room.”
A hush fell over the congregation as Higgins went on to tell his account.
“It is at then that I too started to sneeze. I felt a familiar burning in my backside and sweat started to pour from my brow. God hit me with it right then so the message would be clear. Gay marriage is to blame for Ebola. Ebola is the new punishment for having gay marriage.”
Women and children were seen crying while church deacons passed out Kleenex to the weary. The Supreme Court has made it legal for gay marriage to now take place in every state and when more gay marriages take place, we can only expect more people shall suffer just like Reverend Bobby Higgins down in Oklahoma.
